In my blog post “Talking Good Talk” I shared the important role family dinners had in my life as I grew up. When I had my own family, my wife and I  instituted the same rule as my parents—six days a week, Sunday through Friday, our family ate dinner together. The tradition had the same effect on our children it did on me. We talked and laughed about everything which helped us bond as a family. We also talked good talk about what was happening the world and what it meant to each of us. My wife and I intentionally kept the conversation at a high level so our kids could learn from the discussion and the thinking behind comments  made.

My oldest daughter, who had a very good public school education, got a scholarship to a university in upstate New York. After a few weeks on campus she called and said “Daddy, I’m going to school with trust fund babies.”  When I asked her what that meant, she said these kids were from successful,  affluent New York families who provided them with everything they needed. From the day they were born their families set aside trust fund all they would need for the best private schools. “They had and still have advantages I don’t have,” she also told me, “but I have  no trouble keeping up with these students academically or socially because of what I learned around our dinner table.” I’m sure some other things contributed to confidence but I believe what she was telling me was that she knew what she had to say was valuable and valued and she could hold her own in any environment – with or without a trust fund.

From her experience and mine, I know that what happens to outside of school is as important, perhaps  more important than what happens in school. School is where you get your knowledge but home is where you learn your values. Let me know if you had similar experiences growing up or as a parent.